PLEASE CHEW QUIETLY

As I write this, I am simultaneously throwing evils at a fellow library computer user who is mindlessly eating an apple with their mouth smacking open and closed. Someone on my right is sniffing every few seconds and in dire need of tissue (it is not above me to passive aggressively get them one). I am over-analysing the person on the lefts breathing habits and pen tapping. All we need is a crisp packet rustler and I will not be responsible for my actions.

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